Dear Parents…About Your Child

The day I held my daughter in my arms was the day I wanted to do it all over again. I had never felt such incredible love before.

“I don’t remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child.

My thoughts did not extend into the future. They had nothing to do with ambition, and success, or about her becoming a concert pianist, or a heart surgeon.

Instead I marveled about the miracle of her birth. That two people who love each other can create such perfection, is mind blowing…and humbling…and energizing.

I still look back to that day, knowing that on that very day, my life changed forever.

I was a pretty lucky mother.

From the age of five weeks she slept through the night, and for the first couple of months slept and ate, and slept and ate, throughout the day.

All around friends spoke of exhaustion, They were despairing of their children who woke many times through the night, and cried for much of the day.

And I have to confess, I had to bite my tongue. Nobody wants to hear about the perfect child.

She truly was a joy, and I was able to quickly bounce back form my C-section.

But it wasn’t long before the competition started.

Whose child had the first tooth?

Or been first to crawl?

Which ones were walking?

And eventually the question was posed to me…isn’t she walking yet? The implication being that my child was sub-standard, kind of burst my bubble to some extent.

In many ways she was a late-to-the-party child…ten months to do a proper crawl, though she had devised her own ways of moving from A to B, and thirteen months to walk.

My daughter did everything cautiously, and because she was both careful and a little more mature, she never had accidents.

For weeks before she actually walked, she would stand up, hold onto a chair, or a table leg, and walk to me. But it wasn’t real walking. She just wasn’t ready. There always had to be a ‘goal post’ close by.

But the day she did walk, she was so excited.

This was something she could do!

And by the end of the day she was running up and down the hallway, and doing circuits of the living area, bold as brass. And she never looked back!

What she did do early, was talk. So that was, for a while, my defence.

Isn’t your child walking yet?

No, but she’s talking!

OOPS! That was a top-notch boast, if ever there was one. I’d just joined the ranks of The Boasters’ Club!

Why is it that we parents feel the need to brag about our children , especially about academic ability, or musical talents, sporting prowess and the likes? WHY?

We didn’t have any of those thoughts when our children were born. We didn’t check their leg lengths to see if there was a possibility of being a swimming champion, or a runner.

We loved them just as they were.

We basked in their perfection.

We noted every milestone they reached.

We watched with awe as they put out a hand for the first time, to touch something above their cradle. Even in that my daughter held back. She would get her hand close, then draw back, close and…and eventually garnered all her courage and touched the toy.

Yes she was cautious!

But suddenly it is time for school. They go to school and right away, competition is in the air. In fact it markedly ramps up and we parents feel we have to join the party!

Try not to do it!

Believe me, school is a lot more than academic ability…much more!

In fact your child’s academic skills are not the most important. I’m not saying they are NOT important, but there are many more aspects about your child’s development that should fill you with pride, and in the whole scheme of things, will be incredibly important for your child’s success and wellbeing,

Allow me to pose a few school-related questions.

Does your child reach out to the students who don’t quite fit in…a child on the spectrum, or one with Down Syndrome?

Is your child kind? Is he/she prepared to stand up for children who are being bullied?

Is your child fair? One of the fairest students I ever taught was the valedictorian in his final year of school. That did not come as a surprise to me at all.

Is a lonely child’s day gladdened by your child’s actions?

Did a child who was poor in math go home feeling happy because your child took time to help him?

Do you hear your child whisper words of encouragement to his less-able friends?

Is your child considerate of others?

Is your child prepared to share? Sharing talent, friendship, and ability are indicative of future success.

And if you answered yes to most of these, give yourself a pat on the back. Congratulations! Your child will change the world.

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.

(Keen to try? Keep reading…)